wraithfodder (wraithfodder) wrote,
wraithfodder
wraithfodder

Stargate Atlantis Action Figure Theater: Sheppard and McKay Meet Elvis

I did this last week, but forgot to load….

 

The 3H’s. HOT. HUMID. HAZY. 95+ temps and we’re all turning into melting slugs. Even the squirrels are just sitting on the road, dazed, going ‘huh?’ as you drive right up to them and honk the horn – several times - THEN they get out of the way before becoming a gray pancake.

 

So, what is there to do but melt? Wait, wait, a tiny bit of begging and yes, we’re going to the pool! Of course, the ‘boys’ just simply must come.

 

Sheppard and McKay Meet Elvis

 

Sheppard: “It could be worse. Like that pink flamingo a couple weeks ago.”

McKay: “We’re pinned to a giant carnivorous reptile! From the disco era!”*

 

* For those too young to know, this gator is Elvis, named for the gator from the NBC Miami Vice series (not that gawdawful Colin Farrell movie) and it’s about, oh 20+ years old now and still floats!



An obligatory video of the guys just passing by…

 

Sheppard: “Geez, it’s just an inflatable gator. Totally harmless.”

 

McKay: “My hand is wedged in this awful black thing. I need that hand to work the life signs detector, to open up my bubble bath, I mean, to do scientific work!”

Sheppard: (Off-screen) “Bubble bath?”



 

So they switch rides to the bigger Elvis float…

Sheppard: “This is cool. What a view!”

McKay: “Why am I stuck in the back seat?”

 

Unfortunately, in one of those costly special-effects scenes that cost too much to film (aka the camera is not waterproof), the gator floats vanish. Anyway, the guys manage to snag some life preservers. Alas, they didn’t choose the best ones – decade-old party balloons.

McKay: “What’s that hissing noise? Oh god, you're not farting, are you?”

Sheppard: "No, Rodney. My 'preserver' is leaking. I’m sinking, Rodney.”

McKay: “Oh. Not my problem.”

Sheppard: “It will be when I drag you under. We’re tied together.”

McKay: “What?!”

 

The guys fortunately find another ride. They drift aimlessly on a pool raft from another era…

Sheppard: “You know what?”

McKay: “Go ahead. Say it. I know you’re just DYING to say it.”

Sheppard: “What?”

McKay: “Just… say it.”

Sheppard: “This is a Kodak moment?”

McKay: “Gah, glad that bad pun is out of the way now. Now we can relax.”



The guys find themselves stuck in a ‘chick' flick.... *cough*
 

 

But no, they cannot relax. Danger lurks in the cutest of creatures…



The puppy really likes Rodney. Even the people around the pool ignore his cries for "Help! Help! Genius in trouble here!"


Alas, for Sheppard, things get hairy.

Unfortunately for Sheppard, the puppy liked him even more…

Sheppard: “HELP! Ouch. Get your teeth off my crotch!”

 

Sheppard: “Hey, I need that hand!”

 

So the cute puppy obliges.

Sheppard (mumbling sarcastically into cavernous mouth): “Oh yeah, much better…”

 

 

THE END

 

Well, the boys were down at the pool when the family came down, complete with baby and puppy. What happened with Rodney and the baby was simply too hideous to photograph (the baby thought Rodney 's head was a GREAT item to suck on), and the puppy just glommed onto Sheppard as soon as he got out of the pool.

 

Must admit though, these action figures are durable little guys! 


Tags: action figures, parody, stargate atlantis
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