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August 4th, 2006

Cell phones will kill ya

Well, 'experts' say they won't, but somewhere down the road the brain damage will show.

Beside the fact that people yakking on phones while driving show the same mental capability of someone who's drunk, the authorities still let people talk on phones. Every day I see people shoot red lights, stop signs, etc. while yakking blithely on phones.

But the latest story is a no-brainer. Cell phones breed germs. Who hasn't seen someone place a cellphone down on a counter in the bathroom at work (or worse, heard someone talking in the stall on the cell phone, I mean, REALLY, can't these people stop yakkng for ANYthing??). But studies show that germs love cellphones. No different than the average phone. I see people at work sneeze into phones all the time, and if they borrow mine, I clean it with alcohol. Who needs that gross stuff?

I'm sure iPODS are just as bad if not worse ;)

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"It's dead, Jim, and it HATCHED!!"

You know, you think just cuz the body is now a corpse and the smell has gone away, that it's all over with. Out of sight, out of mind. However, alas, whatever it was that had the poor taste to croak in the basement ceiling, leaving a foul stench that fortunately a bag of volcanic rocks and a citus scented candle was able to handle, has now given us its departing gifts.

Flies. B52 bomber size flies. ACK! I should have known! I watch CSI! Botflies or worse! Anyway, it started the other day, this thing ZOOMED past my face and I went, what the? Man, they're getting big, until the next day when I spied a black lump crawling across a face on TV and realized, crap, where are these flies coming from?

Egads, the body. Not a mouse (even though they can create quite a stench). It was a rodent - we figure (a) chipmunk, or (b) (shudder) squirrel. But it's an ex-whatever so that's good. Alas, it got in a part of the ceiling that is impossible to get to without creating some major work ($$$). Plus who needs Hanta virus? So, unlike the mouse that had the indign.ity to crawl around the corner before we could retrieve it with wires and broomsticks, this poor sucker is just gonna be a dessicated pile of bones in time

I vacuumed up about a dozen flies. Not knowing if the flies were of the hardy mutant variety that can survive being vacuumed, I taped the vacuum nozzle shut. Just in case. Can't be too paranoid with B52 bomber flies.

I just don't want any of 'em landing on the TV screen during the Stargates tonight or else, I get out the brick from Universal Studio (foam) and toss it!

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Although it eeked out to the US press today, apparently back in July, a woman in Christchurch, New Zealand, in an effort to reduce her vehicle registration fee, changed her listing to a 'non-commercial hearse.' Never mind that she never carried a human corpse in her vehicle ever; the 'bodies' in questions were chickens she brought home from the supermarket. While she should have known that was stupid, the Post Shop employee who actually approved the registration should be sacked. I mean, really. What would a can of sardines (already dead bodies in a little metallic coffin) get me? $0 and a free lifetime pass to the carpool lane? Aieeeee.... However, authorities have warned of a $1,000 fine for anybody else attempting the same nonsense. This is like the folks who try to use the carpool lanes with dress shop dummies or claiming an unborn baby as a passenger....

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